Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
