I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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