If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
