oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
its not stalking. its research.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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