party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
