I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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