420 ftw
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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