No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I think people are normalizing furries
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
