I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
