You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
