I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
