You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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