if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
