I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
