Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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