Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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