3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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