i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
