So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
bring money and cleavage
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize