I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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