She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
