woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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