No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
