this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
