So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
