North Korea, Best Korea!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize