she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
