Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
