we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
