...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
