As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
