before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
