You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
