Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
