Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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