WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
