What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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