yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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