So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
