We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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