Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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