508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
