Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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