and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dignity is for republicans.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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