so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
