only if we run a train.
done.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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