We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
