How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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