can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
