I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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