The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
