Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
