there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
