I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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