Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
