he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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