Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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