If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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