let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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