you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
